Dear Diary


I had everything packed last night for another day of gym, work, babysitting and then all of a sudden I started feeling sick again.  The unexplained swollen gland I’ve had since last summer started hurting along with my head, ear and then the nausea started.  I was sure that I was going to throw up.  I raced up the stairs to bed and started talking deep breaths.  I was like five hundred steps short of 20K steps and I couldn’t get back up.  I went to sleep completely drained of exhaustion feeling like shit.

My alarm went off at 5:35 and I was just all ugh.  I convinced myself that I needed the extra sleep and skipped the gym.  A little over an hour later I got myself up and showered to I could go to my clients house.  From there I just dragged ass all day.  For them I put on a happy face but inside I felt defeated.  I am only two weeks in to my new gym schedule, I can’t start skipping days now and think it is ok.  I decided that I will run the neighborhood tomorrow morning before my shift because our gym doesn’t open until 7 on Saturdays.

Now the forecast is showing rain starting at 5.  More defeat.  I took an hour catnap before the little girl I babysit for came, woke up with a headache, ate a few tortilla chips and a salad.  Then I decided I should sit down and write before the day passes me by again but I have nothing prepared so here I am journaling.  I am going to be so upset if my run gets washed out tomorrow.  I am considering just going to the gym after my shift but I made plans with the kids to bring them to a festival tomorrow afternoon.  A festival that is probably going to be rained out anyway.

I hate being stuck in situations like this, it’s like I am damned either way.

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