The kids are asleep + this video is hella basic (….. Insert crazy face emoji here for that comment… did I really just say basic? Who am I right now? Anyway… ) I am just walking around blogging showing off the clean house. In other news… I am back to editing! I should finally be finishing up the summertime #messyhometour series very soon and then I will be starting #summerscorner and #mommylearnstokareoke. So, there will be lots of content coming soon to this blog + our channel! I also may be joining in on a collab for another blog if I can get my submission done in time! I really need to sit down too and catch everyone up on a diary post because I have lots to talk about between my internship, school and some cray cray stuff going on at our house right now. But, I have to make this quick because I have A TON of stuff that needs to be accomplished in the cray cray house today so, until next time my friends!!
As promised, I was able to edit and post two videos today so here is the second one! This is actually a follow up video to the last video, I did a second tour around 12:30 am after I finished cleaning the house. There are a few clips of the kids playing that follow the tour! This far into the summer I started to realize that I had a lot more of the day to share and started adding in additional footage at some point along the way! These videos definitely worked exactly the way I had hoped. It went from walking around showing off our mess to recording the kids playing, showing off the garden, showing off our CLEAN HOME! Woah, haha! Me actually yup, you know what I am going to say next… I started vlogging, for real vlogging, with my face alone on the camera. I know, I am as shocked as you are. Then comes “Summer’s Corner” games, karaoke, more playtime. And, dare I even mention I end up doing karaoke all alone, like for realz singing by myself in front of a camera. I mean, it isn’t pretty, I can never get through a song with all the right words or stay in key but I did it! AND, I am really going to post those videos too, for real. As soon as I get there, in editing. UGH CURSE YOU ICLOUD!!! But just know, we have so much more fun coming up!!!! SO (please) SUBCRIBE AND STAY TUNED!!! 🙂 THANKS GUYS! (AND GALS!)
So I thought it would be a good idea to share our new videos from our (click here) ->YouTube<- channel! I started a video project at the beginning of the summer called “The 77 Days of Summer”. It was really meant to catapult us into making videos because my daughter, Summer is so intrigued with Vlogging! Only, we didn’t know where to start, I felt super awkward on camera and I would get SO NERVOUS every time I tried to put something together. So there we were two weeks in after promising that we would start this venture and nothing, not one movie had been made. It was the second day of summer and I just said you know what, we gotta start somewhere, everyone has to start somewhere! I grabbed my phone, turned the camera away from me and started walking around the house, pointing out the mess that had also felt like this huge eyesore we couldn’t get around! Because, how to do you film around the constant mess?! Summer at first was like, “Mom.. what are you doing? This is not what I was talking about!!”. But a few videos later she was totally on board and our love for making these videos turned into all sorts of shenanigans! Right now I have over a thousand video clips on my phone plus additional footage on our camcorder, ranging from a few seconds to 15 or so minutes each! I was editing right along until I started to have an issue with iCloud taking all my videos from my phone and leaving only thumbnails of them that would then need to be re-downloaded in order to edit and create each movie. It might not sound like a major issue but, it is a total pain in the neck! Downloading is really slow and I lost about ten movies that I was almost ready to post which now have to be 100% redone on my computer and learning how to use iMovie on the computer is a whole different story! But, slowly I am getting there. Finally today after about a two week hiatus from posting anything on our channel I sat down at our computer and started to clean up this mess! I thought too that it might be a good idea to talk about each video as it goes public here so I can have some connection to them on our blog and maybe even an explanation to each one! So without further ado, here is the 57th Day of Summer! This video is not the most exciting one to be starting this with, I am basically half asleep talking about how messy the house is and forcing myself to stay awake to clean it, haha! But they do get better I promise!! Welcome to our home and welcome to The Messy Home Tour!
I am absolutely the worlds worst blogger! I feel terrible that I haven’t sat down to write in so long. I have so much that I wanted to talk about. Disney!! O M G. How have I not talked about Disney? I have just been so wrapped up in our videos/ photography/ my internship/ graphics/ summertime/ kids/ house stuff/ mothering lately that I just never seem to get here. To this seat. Where I am supposed to be writing. I have been vlogging though! Yup. I am a vlogging, I am a vlogger, it happened. It was this ever so gradual thing that just happened. These videos are like my drug right now, I can’t even begin to explain how addictive it is to look back at all the memories, the kids little faces, all the changes in the house. It is all just so irreplaceable. I have so much beautiful footage, and silly footage and messy footage!! It is just all so much fun. So much that I never want to pull myself away but I am finding a way to balance it all. One day I will get to all the Disney pictures I want to share and all the memories I want to type out. Honestly, it will probably just end up in another video. I was thinking about interviewing Summer while were watching my clips that I got while we were there and the pictures. We could talk and reminisce about it all, I think that would be a lot more enjoyable than me just sitting here trying to make some witty blog post about it. I re-opened my store! I just got my first order since the not so grand re-opening, ha! A bracelet, these things fly off the shelves I’ll tell ya, they are by far my number one biggest seller! It is super cute and simple, I wear mine all the time so I can definitely see it 🙂 There is so much good music out right now I can’t even deal right now! I want to go to bed early but that will probably never once in my life ever happen haha, so I am sitting here trying to do a quick little update and all I hear is one good song after another, how will I ever turn off this radio?! Nope, no bed for me, just going to keep jamming out here watching Mark snore on the couch. He is pretty cute 🙂 You guys…… yesterday was our 9th wedding anniversary! So I’m thinking I’ll flood the rest of this page with pictures and head off to bed! Anniversary flowers 🙂 Lookin prettay in the kitchennnnn 🙂 For dinner I made a pork roast, boiled potatoes from our garden and zucchini from my neighbors garden! The kids played in the yard with the balls from our baby ball pit. They thought it was super fun to throw them down the slide! Circa, I have no idea but way …READ MORE
I have some new recipes coming out this week and a ton of videos that have made their way to our channel this past weekend so go check those out and tell me what you think! I started a video project a few weeks ago that we now call the #messyhometour. It started out I think as a way to motivate me towards making videos because it is something that would mean a lot to my daughter. She has fallen in love with a popular You Tube family and it is her absolute dream right now to be just like them. They have been making videos for years and I know nothing about making videos but I thought you know what, this is a way that we can bond. After the year that we have just had, we really need that. We need something to pull us closer together and give us more glue as a family. From there I started to connect all the dots with my blog. My blog shouldn’t be all about me and my feelings. My blog should be a showcase of my family and all thats awesome about us! I have a heartfelt post coming up this week about Florida and I will go in depth about what happened on our trip and why it changed me. But for now lets just say, Florida changed my life. I came back a different woman than I was when I headed towards that plane for our first take off. I came home with a fire in me like nothing I have ever felt before. And as a result of that I have completely transformed our yard and changed everything about my daily habits in the short time that we have been home. Our house has never been cleaner and all the projects I have been putting off for years are suddenly getting done, by me, alone. I feel great and I owe it all to the time I got to spend and bond with my family. And now that we are home I want to continue that feeling and that closeness we had on the most memorable trip I have ever taken in my life. So I hope you enjoy our new channel and all the new content I have in store. Get ready to meet The Johnson’s, we are coming atcha 😉
So lately, I just want to fix all the things. Every last thing in my life. Everything I look at. Everything I touch. I need to fix it all, and fast. My family just came back from the most amazing trip to Disneyworld. It wasn’t planned. It was completely spur of the moment. One day we are living our normal dragging our feet backwards lives, two weeks later we are in Florida. We were planning on staying in my husband’s cousins home while my mother in law was caring for her children. Her husband spends most of the year traveling for work while she stays home with their kids. She is suffering from an alcohol addiction and my mother in law was the closest person to her that she trusted to stay with them while she went away to try and rehabilitate her life. Her husband graciously flew us down there to see her because he has half a billion frequent flyer miles and he is just a really nice guy. So, there we were two weeks later finding ourselves at this strange home in Florida with these two kids we had never met before. Our hopes were high, and they were quickly crushed. The ashes were blown all over the tall grass that surrounded their property. This poor home had seen better days and these children were a mess. We spent two nights and three days with them and by then we were done. We packed up our kids late at night, rented a car and headed towards Disney. Our hopes, again high. We book a hotel room that looks great in the pictures only to show up to what looked like the Floridian version of a Motel 6 fully equipped with a Walgreens in the parking lot and we said no, absolutely not. We came all the way down here for a vacation. We packed up our kids and drove away from our family. We are going to have a vacation dammit, we will not settle for anything less. Twenty minutes later we were checking into a Disney hotel. Everything after that is a blur. Pure magic. Smiling happy pointing laughing and screaming with joy the four of us pranced around Disney like we were on top of the world. Sure it was hot, ok I will give you that. The day we spent at Animal Kingdom was an entirely new experience when it comes to walking around soaking wet in your own sweat for an entire day, continuing into the night with a trip to Disney Springs finished off by an incredibly loud and fun dinner at Planet Hollywood. It was the kind of vacation that changes your life. It changed my life. I came home from this vacation and realized A. I want my home to feel like Disneyworld. Clean, organized with a zest for life. Beautiful. I want my house to be beautiful and B. I want my children to know how much they are …READ MORE
I think the toughest part about blogging is consistency. Choosing to write as a form of work yet also your hobby is tough because somehow actually sitting down at the computer always ends up on the back burner. At least, that is how it has always been for me. I think all day long about blogging while I am doing other things like housework and then at the end of the day I am too tired to actually write all the things that go through my head down. I started this series about a week ago on my YouTube Channel that really opened my eyes to writing in small spurts. I have been making these movies every morning where I just walk through our messy house and say hey this needs to be done and that needs to be folded but here we are just me and these crazy kids here living life + we are ok in this messy house! I can’t be the only one, right? Raise your hand if your house stays a hot mess in the summertime!! I have always been embarrassed to have anyone see our house messy but right now I am experiencing two children home 24/7 and I am realizing, I can’t be the only mom going through this! Keeping the house clean this summer is going to be next to impossible!! … I also ask them both how their morning is going and what we are going to do that day. Of course Mason’s response is usually grunting or throwing food at me but Summer can usually be counted on for some good commentary! I know some day I will look back at these 2 minute clips and remember all the things about our life right now that are usually so easily forgotten and if that is all they ever are, it makes me smile knowing that I have them. And really lets be real here, anything that makes me smile these days is absolutely necessary! So tonight as I was about to fold the mammoth pile of laundry on our couch I thought you know what, I am going to just sit down for 5 minutes, just 5 minutes and whatever comes out is good enough for me. It is better than writing absolutely nothing and letting each day go by without any glimpse of thought into my mind. This blog is supposed to be that for me, I know I have said this a lot but I mean it, this blog needs to be there for me! This is like therapy for me right now in my life. I sincerely need to hear myself talk it all out through my fingertips so when all I have is zero time or energy I am going to give just 5 minutes because when 2 can make a difference, its a magical wonder what 5 can do. I feel like this is where I would enter that stupid crazy looking emoji with the …READ MORE
I think the most important thing to always remember is to never give up. No matter how many times you have tried to change, tried to become a better person, wake up early, be a better employee, wife or mother. Whatever it is in your life that is holding you back or constantly feeling like a failure, if you give up on it then you will fail, forever. My life is a mess right now. I have felt like I was teetering on rock bottom for weeks. We have never struggled harder. Unexpectedly becoming a stay at home mom isn’t at all a dream. It has felt mostly like a nightmare from the very beginning. First desperately trying to make money from inside the house (denial). From there I began lashing out on everyone while giving up on my small business to accept taking on the stay at home life in all it’s glory (anger). Next, convincing myself and my husband that we could afford this life just by living simpler + cancelling out our debt (bargaining). And then came the depression and… here I am. Depressed. I thought I would never type that actual word…. Sadness. Sadness is ok. But to admit depression feels so clinical. Sure, I have probably been depressed most of my adult life and all of my late childhood. Sure, if I went to a therapist they would say yeah you are in denial, this is depression. But to admit that to myself, no I just can’t do it. Now please, if you are depressed, if you have a psychiatric disorder bless you. Strength and perseverance to you, life is worth living. I mean that from the bottom of my heart, I believe that life is worth living. Because I believe that and because I have struggled for so long, because I have seen the glimmer, the light. Because there have been periods of time where I can say yes I was happy then. I just know that I don’t want to be medicated, the last thing I need now is to be numb. I saw what it did to my mother, my aunts, my grandmother, I am trying to start my life now not end it. I am more focused on breaking the cycle than adding to the number. So lastly, I am searching for acceptance. I am searching for myself, my soul, my happiness. One day I know that I am finally going to look back at this and say I did it. I finally did it after all these years of trying and failing. That I am finally finishing all the things that I start. That I am finally proud to be myself and can say that I am an adult deserving of respect. I will get there, I will persevere, I will not give up. My 6 year old daughter looked sad today during her soccer game and I said, “Summer why do you have that frown face, you look …READ MORE
Life is hard, the struggles are real We’re all suffering, we all feel The air is heavy, we bare the weight It happens when we procreate My children deserve more, my husband too I can’t continue being so blue Today was hard, another mistake I feel defeated, more than I can take I can’t stay down here on my knees The world is ticking by I have to pick myself up, before I start to cry There has to be a light out there The struggle has to end I have big dreams I cannot see, I’m always on the mend I’m searching for the rainbow The sparkling gleam of light I’m crawling round the darkness, in the middle of the night The years are short The days are long I need to finally end this song Stop wallowing, stop crying, stop praying for change You are the only person who could possibly rearrange This shattered life, the pain and strife, the chains that bare us down The example that you set, every time you choose to frown Stop holding on and bust this frame, there’s nothing left to loose The only rock that’s left unturned is a life that you must choose ~ Danielle Johnson ~ 05/25/17 ~ 2:25 pm ~
I am in a much better head space today. I made a few changes in my day yesterday that definitely made a difference. For starters, I went running which I haven’t done in far too long. Running made me feel amazing, it is a feeling that I NEED every day. Running is sanity, running is clarity, running is peace. I couldn’t wait to go again today. Unfortunately life had other plans and by the time I got home from my morning earrins Mason had fallen asleep in the car. But I said to myself you know what?! I am going to sweat somehow, someway. So I went out back, finished picking up a pile of dirt left from when I leveled out the pool last week (small pool, very small pool) and then I said ok, I need to sweat more. I pulled out the lawnmower and now I feel all, you know that feeling after you work out, when your muscles kind of hurt and feel engaged? I feel that now which although running really is a mental high for me, having that feeling still really lifts my mood and makes me feel strong, powerful and ready to take on the world. Yesterday I cleaned all the bins leftover in our playroom from when I was sorting through clothes to give away. There are still a lot more to go in the basement but somehow it looks worse than ever down there so I need to make some huge strides with all that before I make any more messes up here. I got my first real comment on the blog yesterday! It honestly made my day 🙂 I still haven’t written back yer because I really want to sit down and take the time to say something thoughtful and nice. Right now I am typing as fast as my fingers will carry because I don’t know how long Mason will contently walk around before he realizes that he wants to hang all over me again. I have no choice but to bring him down to the basement with me after I finish writing this because it just needs to be worked on and there is no other way. He should be sleeping right now but I only got about 45 minutes out of him, I didn’t realize that the lawnmower would wake him up, major fail. Alright this post needs to dig deeper because I am feeling bored just writing it. I have a few topics coming up that I have been wanting to write about for a long time and now that I have put myself out there once, there just isn’t any reason why I shouldn’t keep going. I need to face all the fears. I need to show my heart. I did it once and look, there is one person out there who read what I had to say and said gee, I feel that way too. THAT IS EVERYTHING. Nuff said. Well, this tiny human …READ MORE