Dear Diary Weight Loss/ Healthy Living

Gym, Sex + Vodka.

I never made it to the computer yesterday because this week is turning out not at all how I had planned.  The girl who works in the morning for my client is sick so I picked up three of her shifts.  The extra cash in my paycheck will be great next week but to be brutally honest, I was hungover yesterday so when I got home I took a nap instead of writing.  My husband and I usually have drinks on Tuesdays and Saturday nights.  His best friend has “the guys” over every Tuesday so he goes every other week and on the off week we have “date night” at home.  We just set aside the time after the kids are in bed to watch a movie, play cards, whatever and then we usually always end at least one if not both nights with some pretty mind blowing sex.  This past year has resulted in some pretty intense sexual enlightenment for us… and there is no turning back.  I need it and I want it bad… all the time. This wasn’t our date week but for some reason we didn’t have sex at all last week, not once.  Actually it was my fault, I am getting used to waking up at the crack of dawn to go to the gym.  At the same time, I don’t want to “schedule” our sex life.  Even though as it sits now we are pretty much on a schedule already, I don’t want an official one.  Before I started back at the gym if I had a bad day or he did maybe we would switch things up, drink on an off night, let out some steam under the sheets or both.  But now I can’t do that.  It has been over two years since I was required to be anywhere in the morning at a certain time so theres a bit of an adjustment period.  I don’t think he really understood that at first but we talked about it… twice.  And now I think he gets it. How have a managed to write about sex yet make this so super boring?!  Ugh.  I feel like I am just rambling here.  I need to focus my thoughts, if I have time later I will come back to this or touch upon something else.  My husband just called me about something that has my mind racing now so I need to go reflect for a few.  Plus, the girls are finally coming back today (I babysit twice a week) after weeks of sickness being passed back and forth so I need to go wash my floors before the little one gets here.  Until next time… All my love, Danielle

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Weight Loss/ Healthy Living

Tipping the Scale.

I had to cover a shift on Friday morning during my designated writing time.  I am pretty much a sham but I babysit a few hours every week and I also work as a home companion for an elderly couple.  I mostly just hang out with them and wash their dishes.  It’s a pretty sweet gig.  My friend who works their morning shift asked me to cover and I’m always down to make money.  At first when I agreed to it I immediately wrote off the gym but my husband was all like, don’t be a bum, what’s a half hour in the grand scheme of things?  SO.. I was like, challenge accepted..  And, I woke up even earlier to still make it to the gym before work, I even showered for the first time ever there which I thought I was going to hate but actually, it wasn’t that bad. I thought I could come home after work and write a little later than usual but the day got away from me and by the time I realized I forgot about writing I didn’t have an hour to devote to it anymore and just moved on.  It was Cinco De Mayo and I had this elaborate meal planned which turned out to be a big waste of time.  My husband has turned into my clients yard guy and, their husband ended up calling and asked if he could come clean out their gutters which turned into a 2.5 hour job, after he had already worked all day.  I missed out on playing with the kids in the kiddie pool because I was cooking.  And, we missed out on being together as a family enjoying the meal because the job took too long.  By the time he got back, I was putting the kids in bed and we ate without them.  Such is life right? I feel bad about not writing though, which again is a great sign that changes are actually taking place in my life right now even if I don’t see them yet.  So here we are, another Monday and I should be digging into my roots but I feel off today and just wanted to talk about life right now instead.  I woke up in this bad mood today.  I usually dream every night but last night, I didn’t.  Plus, I turned Mark down for sex so I could go to sleep on time.  I thought it was going to make me feel empowered and strong like nothing could stand in my way of starting this second week back at the gym.  But instead, it made me feel lonely and sad that I had missed out on being with him. I looked at him fast asleep next to me and all I wanted was to feel his warm body against mine, his big strong arms wrapping around me squeezing me tight.  I stayed there a few extra minutes, contemplating my next move.  I really wanted to …READ MORE

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