Dear Diary

Two Steps Forward, One Back

To me the sound of quiet means a cat purring, a dishwasher running, a bunny stirring in his cage, my husband snoring on the couch, two different children songs playing on the monitor switching back and forth and sounds from my brother in law moving around upstairs getting ready for bed.  This is my life right now, total chaos and noise even when it is supposed to be quiet.  This is my life always.  It must be like this for everyone else, I feel like when you become parents quiet no longer exists.  I don’t know what I would do if it was quiet.  I would probably freak out. I have been in the worlds worst mood today, and my last post was just an absolute.. there is just no way to say it without using inappropriate words.  It was a low point.  I was so angry.  I should probably delete it.  Honestly, I have so much anxiety about writing, about putting myself out there, that I think I just avoid it. But I am getting to the point in my life that I realize if I don’t do something, something else is going to give.  I need to get better and be happier.  I know I am a miserable grouch of a person sometimes or a lot of the time, maybe that is why I can never make blogging friends.  Either that or because I never produce any valuable content, it could be that too.  And I know that, I know that I need to get it out there.  I finally sat down and made a blogging schedule so my plan is to put that into motion. I want to start telling my story but it makes me really super uncomfortable to tell my story.  Like really super uncomfortable.  But I know that it is the one piece of me I need to pour out so I can maybe get some closure.  There are so many things in my life that would feel so much better if I talked about them.  I just really don’t know if I can tell the entire story, it honestly might just be a bit too much for this blog because I wanted this blog to be family friendly and fun.  Maybe I will start a separate site for my story.  I don’t know, I will figure it out as I go I guess. Maybe I could just put a warning on the page that it is R rated or something, haha.  X rated, hahaha!! Anyway, I really do have blogging work that I need to get out because I was nominated for two different blogging awards, and I was honestly really excited them when I first found out, before I realized how they actually worked but who cares honestly.  I’ve put myself out there enough that the community knows me and found my name so, that is still cool.  There are a bunch of questions that I have to answer for both of …READ MORE

Continue Reading
Blogging Dear Diary

Be True To Yourself.

I’ve recently come to the realization that I want this blog to be more.  Mostly, because I want myself to be more.  I know that most of you don’t know me and have probably never read a single word I’ve ever written.  Even each and every one of you who now make up the 3k+ followers I’ve gained across social media in the past few months.  I know this because I have been around the block a few times. When I started blogging the entire point was to actually write.  I know, can you believe it?  We all wrote because we wanted to be writers.  SO STRANGE, I know.  We anonymously poured out our souls to each other convincing ourselves we all cared so much,  although we never actually planned to meet in real life.  There was no Twitter or Instagram, or Facebook.  There was no behind the scene pictures and videos.  Blogging was all about the words, the writing, the feelings, the stories.  OUR STORIES. You weren’t running around trying to promote your own face, monetizing and collaborating with brands.  Yet somehow over the past twelve+ years that I’ve been blogging, it has come to this.  The diary like platform I once knew and loved has turned into a full fledge industry crammed with -UPDATED- Because, I am really not the bitch this post makes me out to be. Alright, I’ve definitely said too much.  This isn’t me.  I am not a mean person, I am honestly a really easy going -Nice person.  Well, maybe not easy going but I am nice.  I respect others.  And, I will certainly help anyone who asks, whenever I can.  I have spent the past few months getting to know and help these woman because I genuinely enjoy it… who knew.  And because of my involvement I have now been nominated for two “blogging awards”.  I am pretty sure whoever invented these awards just saw it as another way to pull in page views but lets pretend they actually mean something.  Lets just say, I kinda feel like I have arrived.  The people, they are coming.  I have doubled my page views every month for the past three months.  That is seriously impressive to me.  I laid in bed last night like a crazy person studying my stats projecting my growth for the next year.  What – On – Earth is happening to me? I never saw myself being the type of blogger who could actually make money off of anything that I have written.  And, maybe that is why I have become so salty towards those who do.  In my mind somehow I have convinced myself that I just don’t fit into this world.  I am not all pink and glitter, my house isn’t ready for the pages of Better Homes at any given moment, my look isn’t refined and trendy, I don’t see why anyone would care about my life.  But maybe that is the point.  Maybe there is a place …READ MORE

Continue Reading
Our YouTube Channel Summer's Corner

Summer’s Corner Episode 1: Summer + Mommy Learn to Karaoke

Hey everyone!  We have been making videos for our YouTube channel for almost five months now!  And, all because our daughter Summer wanted to be just like her favorite YouTube family making fun and silly videos, gaming videos, baking things + doing science experiments.  I’m not gonna lie, it was really strange getting started, I was super uncomfortable being on camera!  Honestly, even Summer felt weird about it and my husband is still getting used to it!  But, I saw it as a way to bond with our daughter and do something fun as a family.  So I set out to start creating these videos that she felt so strongly about.  It started out rough, our first series “The Messy Home Tour” was really just us getting used to having our crazy house + ourselves being filmed.  Once we got rolling, hours and hours into editing, it all started to become fun and exciting!  I now see why this family and so many others Vlog and make all sorts of videos that are then shared with the world!  I get it!  We are definitely still getting used to all of it but it really has brought us closer and given us so many nice memories to look back at already in the sort five months we have been making them! That being said, today we have a very special new video series to share with you!  We are calling this series, “Summer’s Corner” entirely because Summer decided that she wanted to call it that and I lost the battle.  The name is inspired by her favorite YouTube channel FGTeeV who have a space for their son called “Chase’s Corner”.  I tried explaining to her quite a few times that we couldn’t just “copy” their name but she insists that her “channel” needs to be just like his because she is their biggest fan.  I am figuring they have millions of subscribers and we now have 22!!  Yes, 22!!  I am so proud 🙂 because last week we had only 2!  So yeah, I don’t think having a similar name is really going to be a problem. We have made a few videos for her playlist that are coming up in my editing and will be posted soon.  There are actually a few that we recorded before this one but we were working on angles and trying out a different camcorder so the quality/ sound/ view was not very good.  Because of that, I decided to make this our first official video and it is just so silly and cute!  Summer makes me laugh with her enthusiasm and excitement for not only making the video but playing the keyboard, she truly loves all things music and arts just like her momma 🙂 I hope you all enjoy the video and look out for the rest to follow!

Continue Reading
Messy Home Tour Our YouTube Channel

61st Day of Summer

The kids are asleep + this video is hella basic (…..  Insert crazy face emoji here for that comment…  did I really just say basic?  Who am I right now?  Anyway… ) I am just walking around blogging showing off the clean house. In other news…  I am back to editing!  I should finally be finishing up the summertime #messyhometour series very soon and then I will be starting #summerscorner and #mommylearnstokareoke.  So, there will be lots of content coming soon to this blog + our channel!  I also may be joining in on a collab for another blog if I can get my submission done in time!  I really need to sit down too and catch everyone up on a diary post because I have lots to talk about between my internship, school and some cray cray stuff going on at our house right now.  But, I have to make this quick because I have A TON of stuff that needs to be accomplished in the cray cray house today so, until next time my friends!!

Continue Reading
Messy Home Tour Our YouTube Channel

58th Day of Summer

As promised, I was able to edit and post two videos today so here is the second one!  This is actually a follow up video to the last video, I did a second tour around 12:30 am after I finished cleaning the house.  There are a few clips of the kids playing that follow the tour!  This far into the summer I started to realize that I had a lot more of the day to share and started adding in additional footage at some point along the way!  These videos definitely worked exactly the way I had hoped.  It went from walking around showing off our mess to recording the kids playing, showing off the garden, showing off our CLEAN HOME!  Woah, haha!  Me actually yup, you know what I am going to say next…  I started vlogging, for real vlogging, with my face alone on the camera.  I know, I am as shocked as you are.  Then comes “Summer’s Corner” games, karaoke, more playtime.  And, dare I even mention I end up doing karaoke all alone, like for realz singing by myself in front of a camera.  I mean, it isn’t pretty, I can never get through a song with all the right words or stay in key but I did it!  AND, I am really going to post those videos too, for real.  As soon as I get there, in editing.  UGH CURSE YOU ICLOUD!!! But just know, we have so much more fun coming up!!!! SO (please) SUBCRIBE AND STAY TUNED!!!  🙂 THANKS GUYS!  (AND GALS!)

Continue Reading
Messy Home Tour Our YouTube Channel

The 57th Day of Summer

So I thought it would be a good idea to share our new videos from our (click here) ->YouTube<- channel!  I started a video project at the beginning of the summer called “The 77 Days of Summer”.  It was really meant to catapult us into making videos because my daughter, Summer is so intrigued with Vlogging!  Only, we didn’t know where to start, I felt super awkward on camera and I would get SO NERVOUS every time I tried to put something together.  So there we were two weeks in after promising that we would start this venture and nothing, not one movie had been made.  It was the second day of summer and I just said you know what, we gotta start somewhere, everyone has to start somewhere!  I grabbed my phone, turned the camera away from me and started walking around the house, pointing out the mess that had also felt like this huge eyesore we couldn’t get around!  Because, how to do you film around the constant mess?!  Summer at first was like, “Mom..  what are you doing?  This is not what I was talking about!!”.  But a few videos later she was totally on board and our love for making these videos turned into all sorts of shenanigans! Right now I have over a thousand video clips on my phone plus additional footage on our camcorder, ranging from a few seconds to 15 or so minutes each!  I was editing right along until I started to have an issue with iCloud taking all my videos from my phone and leaving only thumbnails of them that would then need to be re-downloaded in order to edit and create each movie.  It might not sound like a major issue but, it is a total pain in the neck!  Downloading is really slow and I lost about ten movies that I was almost ready to post which now have to be 100% redone on my computer and learning how to use iMovie on the computer is a whole different story!  But, slowly I am getting there.  Finally today after about a two week hiatus from posting anything on our channel I sat down at our computer and started to clean up this mess!  I thought too that it might be a good idea to talk about each video as it goes public here so I can have some connection to them on our blog and maybe even an explanation to each one! So without further ado, here is the 57th Day of Summer!  This video is not the most exciting one to be starting this with, I am basically half asleep talking about how messy the house is and forcing myself to stay awake to clean it, haha!  But they do get better I promise!!  Welcome to our home and welcome to The Messy Home Tour!

Continue Reading
Dear Diary

When a Boy Met a Girl + 16 Years

I am absolutely the worlds worst blogger!  I feel terrible that I haven’t sat down to write in so long.  I have so much that I wanted to talk about.  Disney!!  O M G.  How have I not talked about Disney?  I have just been so wrapped up in our videos/ photography/ my internship/ graphics/ summertime/ kids/ house stuff/ mothering lately that I just never seem to get here.  To this seat.  Where I am supposed to be writing.  I have been vlogging though!  Yup.  I am a vlogging, I am a vlogger, it happened.  It was this ever so gradual thing that just happened.  These videos are like my drug right now, I can’t even begin to explain how addictive it is to look back at all the memories, the kids little faces, all the changes in the house.  It is all just so irreplaceable.  I have so much beautiful footage, and silly footage and messy footage!!  It is just all so much fun.  So much that I never want to pull myself away but I am finding a way to balance it all. One day I will get to all the Disney pictures I want to share and all the memories I want to type out.  Honestly, it will probably just end up in another video.  I was thinking about interviewing Summer while were watching my clips that I got while we were there and the pictures.  We could talk and reminisce about it all, I think that would be a lot more enjoyable than me just sitting here trying to make some witty blog post about it. I re-opened my store!  I just got my first order since the not so grand re-opening, ha!  A bracelet, these things fly off the shelves I’ll tell ya, they are by far my number one biggest seller!  It is super cute and simple, I wear mine all the time so I can definitely see it 🙂 There is so much good music out right now I can’t even deal right now!  I want to go to bed early but that will probably never once in my life ever happen haha, so I am sitting here trying to do a quick little update and all I hear is one good song after another, how will I ever turn off this radio?!  Nope, no bed for me, just going to keep jamming out here watching Mark snore on the couch. He is pretty cute 🙂 You guys…… yesterday was our 9th wedding anniversary! So I’m thinking I’ll flood the rest of this page with pictures and head off to bed! Anniversary flowers 🙂 Lookin prettay in the kitchennnnn 🙂 For dinner I made a pork roast, boiled potatoes from our garden and zucchini from my neighbors garden!   The kids played in the yard with the balls from our baby ball pit.  They thought it was super fun to throw them down the slide!   Circa, I have no idea but way …READ MORE

Continue Reading
Dear Diary

Tongue Tied

After the week that I have it is hard to know where to start with this post.  Summer is sick, again.  I am fighting off whatever germ she has on top of that wonderful monthly visit.  I swear she gets a cold virus/ diarrhea thing every month perfectly timed with my schedule to guarantee that my immune system will be low enough to catch it too.  Yesterday was super stressful between dealing with her doctors office and her school.  Yes I will admit she has missed a lot of school this year.  But, every single day that she has spent home was 150% necessary.  I do not agree with this no fever, no throw up, you’re going to school thing her doctor’s office is now trying to convince me of.  If my daughter can’t breath or is at risk for pooping her pants you better believe she is staying home, fever or not.  Yet today, I was basically forced to send her to school with a zip lock bag full of spare clothes and flushable wipes because she doesn’t have a fever.  Thanks, I will just sit here a nervous wreck all day, no problem.  The only good thing that I can say about the situation is that her teacher is a sweetheart and loves Summer, at least emailing her always makes me feel more at ease. I feel like I can’t transition this first topic into anything else right now.  We got a new piece of furniture and a rug over the weekend which I want to talk about and share pictures of but this doesn’t seem like the appropriate time.  I have always been doing some serious soul searching and have finally came to some major life decisions which I also really need to get into but, not now.  I think I am just going to go. My featured image today is my sweet napping dolly and here is one of my little stud. I can’t get enough of these overalls, they are from last season and honestly just about too small but they are too cute he needs to wear them until they can no longer button!! <3 Peace.  

Continue Reading
Dear Diary

The Not So Queen of Blogging.

After yesterdays sob fest I was up early today ready for war.  I need to get myself out of this rut.  I know that writing helps so I am going to continue to write.  This blog means a lot to me.  It is my dream.  Photography, this blog and flipping houses.  Those are my dreams.  If I could imagine a perfect life it would be photographing and blogging about flipping houses.  The fact that our finances are officially fucked and I really need any income I can get right now, right now, really throws a wrench in the gears but I don’t know maybe it doesn’t.  This has to be what rock bottom feels like.  Or honestly maybe not.  I still have a roof over my head, a nice roof at that.  I still have an amazing man who stands by my side with a smile on his face no matter what.  I still have these two beautiful kids who call me mom and show me their big beautiful smiles every day.  Maybe life isn’t that bad.  Even if we loose everything, I hate to sound cliche but isn’t it said that you are only free to do anything once you have lost everything? If you are a new reader or maybe you’ve been hanging around awhile, even so I would like to re-introduce myself.  My name is Danielle, I have been blogging for 12 years and I like to refer to myself as “the failed blogger”.  I say this because, I have never in my life heard of anyone trying to blog for twelve years and be here where I am still at the beginning.  Here is how I failed at blogging so maybe you won’t make the same mistakes that I did…. When I began blogging I was nineteen years old and working full time at night in debt collection.  I was alone in an office building every night and lonely.  I was also dealing with some personal issues that come along with being nineteen years old living on your own with your boyfriend.  I had very little contact with my family, we were struggling financially, everything was all just so hard and we were so young.  I found a site called Xanga and I thought it would be a great way for me to continue journaling and maybe make some online friends in between phone calls. For years I blogged on Xanga, I even taught myself some HTML and started coding my own health and fitness website called Thinspirationsinc.com.  I was excited and obsessed, I loved coding and growing my site, I would just get lost for hours in it!  But somewhere along the way I started going to school for Graphic Design and lost site of my goals.  I married my boyfriend, we bought a house, I got pregnant and switched my major to nursing thinking I was being more realistic and practical.  I stayed with the medical billing company for nearly eleven years working my …READ MORE

Continue Reading
Dear Diary What I'm Wearing

What I’m Wearing: Day One and Two!

I decided to add a feature called, “What I’m wearing”.  I only have a minute here because it is almost school pick up time but I am going to try and sum it up really quick.  As a stay at home mom, I don’t get out much!  I am new to all of this, I have only been home for a year and was supposed to return to work but was unable to find anything like my old job that could work with the babysitting we had available.  It is a long story in itself that I will tell another time.  But for right now, I had found myself in a real rut.  I stopped doing my hair and wearing make up.  I stopped dressing nice and feeling good about myself.  I have lost almost fifty pounds in the past year getting back to and surpassing my pre-pregnancy weight. My body feels great but I just completely stopped trying to look like anything but a tired, overworked mom.  Because wow holy -cow.  Being home means being on your feel 24×7!  It is so much more work than anything I’ve ever done in my entire life.  I never expected that.  Seriously so many props to every single stay at mom out there.  This is a lot.  Being home by yourself surrounded by children it’s a lot.  But, I love my kids more than anything on earth.  I feel now like I just can’t leave them.  They are my life and I want it that way.  I want to be their life because they are mine. But anyway I am so off track here it’s not even funny!  I started taking selfies because I decided that I needed to get myself dressed every day and put make up on.  That I needed to make my hair look nice and organize, paint and clean.  That I needed to go above and beyond and then beyond that.  Because it will never be good enough until it is.  I know that I have not done the best job possible yet around here.  I know that this house is far from being done but I am getting there.  And I am looking much better doing it!  Like seriously, my husband has been giving me compliments and there is nothing better than that.  There is just nothing better then a happy home and feeling love in your life!  So here are my first two days of “What I’m Wearing”!  Which is mostly cat hair and old clothes from Walmart :). Enjoy!    Tuesday, March 21      Background:  messy Shirt:  Walmart.  Yes, that’s cat hair Pants:  Walmart circa, unknown 1st Day of selfies:  No fun! Wednesday, March 22 After watching some how to videos and purchasing a selfie stick… Better? Background:  A much nicer corner Shirt:  Marshalls, many moons ago Pants:  Very Old Navy  (see what I did there?!  Insert smiley face Emoji here) Shoes today!  Cabelas Lifetime Warrantee boots that I have had on my feet for …READ MORE

Continue Reading